[self]contained

just thinking..
i can try to make [my]life mean something
[i]feel a [desire]for meaning..
i can [try]fulfilling [this]desire..
by creating some [image]of my[self]
or by [work]ing
or by [play]ing
by creating [some]thing
any[thing]
even this
[thought]

perfection..

"Live in the present, with your consciousness externalised momentarily but without any effort: when the mind stops linking itself to the past and to the future, it becomes no-mind. If from moment to moment your mind dwells on what is and drops it effortlessly a once, the mind becomes no-mind, full of purity. It is only as long as the mind continues to be agigated that it experiences the diversity of its own projection or expansion, even as rain falls only as long as there are clouds. And, it is only as long as the infinite consciousness limits itself into the finite mind, that such agitation and expansion take place. If consciousness ceases to be the finite mind, then know that the very roots of cyclic world-illusion (of birth and death) are burnt and there is perfection."

-- excerpt of dialogue from Vasistha to Rama in "The Story of Gadhi" from Vasistha's Yoga

on joy

what can I say? and who am I to say anything? :) eh, never-the-less & not-for-nothing.. here is my current take on joy & dissolution.. enjoy! (haha.. ok, pun intended.)

joy exists not in objects continually pursued,
but in the apprehension of the absence of objects..

where can joy be found? the answer is simple.
joy cannot be found, for it is not lost..

joy patiently attends every moment,
like reflection attending a mirror..
silently & subtly embedded in being,
passing unnoticed without benefit
of contrasting concepts.

camouflaged by inhalations
and exhalations,
and thoughts followed by thoughts,
joy goes unseen
& unpracticed
apparent only after
all else is released or dissolved.

cease
breathing in or out
thinking this or that
roaming here or there
and seeking more joy.

vajra guru mantra

Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ Om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum ~ shanti ~ shanti ~ shantihi.

pearls

i wake up each day with a profound emptiness. it is as if i haven't even the energy to write this. empty words that fill an empty page. wanting nothing and possessing nothing i wander aimlessly. devoid of love or hate with only an occasional disruption of desire or outrage.. and.. a dull feeling that perhaps there should be something more.. not even filled with depression.. perfectly content in one moment, even joyful, then sad or hopeless in the next.. no preferences nor distinguishing features between them.. only endless moments strung together like an ancient, fragile string of pearls.. and even now the string breaks, and the beads fall one by one into the silt below.. and are swallowed into the earth, melted into molten lava, and spat out again thru an oyster-like womb only to be found, and admired, and bored, and strung, and broken, and swallowed, and spat out again.. and again..

belief

i suppose
i would have to believe
in some
words
in order
to use
them

in pursuit?

the softest thing in the universe overcomes the hardest thing in the universe. 

that without substance can enter where there is no room, hence i know the value of non-action. 

teaching without words & work without doing are understood by very few..
- tao te ching (no. 43)

In the pursuit of learning, everyday something acquired.
In the pursuit of the tao, everyday something is dropped.
less & less is done until non-action is achieved.
when nothing is done, nothing is left undone..
- tao te ching (no. 48)