perfection..

"Live in the present, with your consciousness externalised momentarily but without any effort: when the mind stops linking itself to the past and to the future, it becomes no-mind. If from moment to moment your mind dwells on what is and drops it effortlessly a once, the mind becomes no-mind, full of purity. It is only as long as the mind continues to be agigated that it experiences the diversity of its own projection or expansion, even as rain falls only as long as there are clouds. And, it is only as long as the infinite consciousness limits itself into the finite mind, that such agitation and expansion take place. If consciousness ceases to be the finite mind, then know that the very roots of cyclic world-illusion (of birth and death) are burnt and there is perfection."

-- excerpt of dialogue from Vasistha to Rama in "The Story of Gadhi" from Vasistha's Yoga

belief

i suppose
i would have to believe
in some
words
in order
to use
them

in pursuit?

the softest thing in the universe overcomes the hardest thing in the universe. 

that without substance can enter where there is no room, hence i know the value of non-action. 

teaching without words & work without doing are understood by very few..
- tao te ching (no. 43)

In the pursuit of learning, everyday something acquired.
In the pursuit of the tao, everyday something is dropped.
less & less is done until non-action is achieved.
when nothing is done, nothing is left undone..
- tao te ching (no. 48)

insidious violence

violence: the exertion of force with the intent to injure (physically or psychologically) or destroy. -- paraphrased from wikipedia

this morning I awoke thinking of violence & how to address it in a meaningful way.. violence needn't be the extreme exertion of physical force that first comes to mind when when approaching the idea. violence is more simply the use of power to overcome some "other."

it may not draw physical blood from it's victims. it may only metaphorically drain the life's blood from them. it can be as subtle as the need to be "right" because in doing so, one must make the other "wrong." thereby diminishing the ego (material existence) of the "other."

violence is a device of the ego to exert itself & to make itself real by drawing a forceful distinction from some other. by destroying the other or overcoming it, I have now proven my superiority & indeed my existence!

contrary to the tone of this post, I am not necessarily opposed to violence when the situation deems it appropriate. instead I am proposing only that one be aware of the impact of violence in his or her life.

I am not faint to argue a point, or to throw a punch when called for.. & I relish the ability to do it the light of day more than under the cover of darkness & ignorance.

to exert one's ego in awareness is to be alive & extends the boundaries of consciousness from a distinct perspective. to unconsciously throw punches at some imagined other is akin to being undead, a lumbering, clumsy, sleep-walking oaf.

often times I catch myself attempting to be right & it brings a smile to my heart that my ego is still plugging away in the battle with it's own existence.. with as much energy as a two-year-old's tantrums.. pushing itself out and taking no prisoners as it goes! punching holes in the fabric of time & throwing weary carcasses thru them.. lol but now I am only waxing dramatic. :P

a haunting

I can't help but notice that someone I love is being haunted by death.
and it's not someone u might expect. it is someone very young and thoughtful and funny and bright and talented and beautiful. but death seems to follow him like a shadow.

I don't know if he has noticed it, or what he makes of it in his impressionable young mind. I won't use his name or make any direct reference. it is someone I see only infrequently, maybe a few times a year & even during those times i've noticed on each occasion, if the attention is too focused between us, odd things start to happen. he rides in my car and suddenly the automatic windows stop working and the door jams shut. on a second occasion the driver's side front tire blew and flew off completely! these things happen separated in time & only when he visits.. I don't believe in coincidences so the occurrences struck me as odd, but then I realized how frequently people around him & especially close to him have dropped dead from sudden heart-attacks or brain hemorrhages, or other peculiar sudden natural circumstances.

I do not feel he is in any way to blame, don't get me wrong.. quite the contrary. he often suffers most directly from the losses. it is as if death uses his bright shining hopefulness as bait for life's weary travelers whose time has come. it is tragic & extreme almost to the point of comedy.. I don't know if anyone else has noticed this except me. no one who knows me that well reads this blog, and I dare not share this little insight.

I am sometimes given to.. I don't know what to call it.. I will use the word premonition for lack of a better word.. but I think in this case the better word is insight, and I know what I see goes beyond what people call coincidence without giving away too much detail..

*sigh* what does one do when someone you love dearly is being haunted by death? ha! the answer is nothing.. but continue to love him. it is not as if the boy's dark spectre of a friend can be shaken off by any of us.. but I am not too keen on riding him around in my car any more than necessary. :)

impermanence

so I woke up today thinking about impermanence.. and this put in my mind images evoked by a friend's mention of the aghories who frequent cremation grounds in india. I happened upon a couple of videos documenting the aghories incorporating human remains into their worship rituals..


I thought about the stark contrast of this open embrace of impermanence as compared with western culture's denial of death and the impermanent nature of all forms. In the west, death is mostly hidden from view, but in the world of the aghories it is accepted and incorporated into life.. even to the point of sometimes consuming the bodies of the dead, or adorning yourself with their remains. I suppose the closest we get in the west to an acknowledgement of impermanence is the mass bombardment of CSI-type tv dramas.

Not to romanticize this infatuation with holiness anymore than to glorify an infatuation with worldliness. both represent attachment of the ego to some ideal. both exist in time. any path that is separate from its destination may be just another obstacle to the always immediate realization truth.

At some point there is no desire to overcome fears nor habits; no desire for trinkets, nor to distinguish oneself with costume, nor colors, nor letters, nor words.. no desire to go beyond the present moment, nor to dwell within it.

I don't know what is the point of writing this other than perhaps to say I find the aghories comforting in that they provide a kind of counter-balance to the vast materialism that consumes us much the same as the aghories consume the bodies of the dead. perhaps oddly, i'm not offended by their consumption. I suppose in this world where I am still frustrated by desire, it's comforting to know that eventually, I & everything I covet will disintegrate into dust & fly away on the wind.

Dalliance

I have seen all the works which have been done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and striving after wind. [Ecclesiastes 1:14 - New American Standard Bible (©1995)]

How do I feel about that quote? there are several different translations.. the Lamsa english translation of the Syriac Peshitta (which I usually prefer) says this:

I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and, behold, all is vanity and vexation of spirit. [Ecclesiastes 1:14 - Lamsa English Peshitta Translation]

All the works which have been done under the sun.. Sometimes I feel as if I have seen all of them, but other times I realize that is not so, at least not on a personal level. All is vanity? Excessive pride.. egotism.. unreality.. I think perhaps most is vanity, not all.. No -- now that I consider that more carefully, not even most is vanity..

Most is comprised of what is found in nature, and nature is not vain, except to the extent that it cannot be separated from the consciousness that perceives it.. Therefore, if I see all as vanity, then it is I who is vain..

Vanity as the unreal.. Most is unreal? Hmm.. most is unreal, I suppose, if one considers the world of form as "unreal." What is reality? If reality is something that exits independently from the ideas concerning it, then only no-thing is real.. Thus, all is unreal and all is vanity after-all.

It only stands to follow that if all is unreal, then there is only striving after wind.. because any striving would be after some-thing and no-thing is real, only transient like the wind.. and all things exist as concepts in this dream of reality.

Is this a vexation of spirit? Both vexations and spirits, being things are unreal and only vanity; therefore, there is no vexation of spirit..

And so yes, I agree that "all is vanity and striving after wind." I do not necessarily concur that it is a "vexation of spirit." :-)

*whew! glad I got that figured out!*

For some reason the Narayana Mantra is what is evoked for me after this discourse.
"om namo narayanaya"